butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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