I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
only if we run a train.
done.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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