I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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