I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
