I'm so fucking centered right now
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Boobs speak an international language.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
