sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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