I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
