is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
