Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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