My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
