Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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