I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
