fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
of course. lets lasso hookers.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
