You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
is it fun? or sober?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
