So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
