If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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