then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
