why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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