Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
