yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize