wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
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