My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
