who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
