I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
