awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
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