HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
