is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
