Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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