he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
