I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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