okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
