oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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