i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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