Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
