Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
