i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize