unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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