Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
