I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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