so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
