I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
