Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
