I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
