Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
