ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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