So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
