He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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