I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize