I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
