it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
