Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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