walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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