wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize