Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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