No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
