my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
