I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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