used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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