I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
