So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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